Past Mistakes
by ValaMalDoran-Jackson
Summary: A late night talk between father and son.


**A/N: This is yet another one shot I came up with around three or four this morning. I couldn't sleep, and CJ started bugging me as little boys do. I had to get him down on paper, so he and Jack would let me alone... **

**Reviews are my candy, the sweeter the better. Flames will be returned to sender...**

"Daddy?" CJ's voice startled Jack from his computer late one night, after everyone had gone to bed and the house was full of the thick oppressive sound of silence.

"Hey Buddy, what's the matter? Can't sleep?" Jack asked, turning to lift his son into his lap. CJ shook his head sadly.

"Something on your mind?" Jack asked after a few minutes. CJ pulled back slightly and took a deep breath.

"I asked Ella something today, and she wasn't sure. I didn't want to ask Mommy, because it might make her sad. Can I ask you?" The six year old asked. Jack was always amazed that this soulful child was his, but still the similarities were difficult to disprove.

_Maybe he was more like Sam_, Jack thought to himself.

"I'll answer any question you might have for me, Buddy. You know I will." He smiled kindly.

"The picture of the little boy in your office, that's not me or Ella. Ella said she didn't know who it was either. Did you give him away when I came? Is that why he's not here? Was it because I replaced him?" CJ asked softly.

_**Charlie.**_

Taking a deep breath, Jack felt the familiar pain flood over him at the mention of his firstborn.

"His name is Charlie Tyler O'Neill, and he would be twenty if he were here. Your mom and I didn't give him away. You know what a divorce is, right? How two people that sometimes love each other decide that they can't stay a family because of something that happened? Like a mistake or something? Only a mistake that a Mommy or Daddy can make. Not children. Before I married Mommy, I was married to another woman." Jack began to explain.

"Did you love her?" CJ asked. Jack caught his breath and nodded once.

"I did. But something happened, and I couldn't stay with her anymore. You know how when you do something bad all you want to do is hide under your bed until you feel better?" Jack asked. CJ nodded.

"Well, Daddy made a mistake, and Charlie went to be with Grandpa Jake and Grandma Ella in Heaven. It was a big mistake, so I had to go away from my first wife so that I could feel better. But, when I wanted to come back to my first wife, she was too upset that I had made the mistake in the first place. She still loved me, but she couldn't be with me. It hurt her too much to know that it was me that made the mistake. Sometimes, Mommies and Daddies can do that. They can hurt too much to love each other. But they never stop loving their children. I keep Charlie's picture on my desk with yours and Ella's and Mommy's to remind me never to make that mistake again. To remind me that the littlest thing can sometimes make the biggest mistakes."

"Did Charlie go to see my friend Kyla?" CJ's classmate the year before had been diagnosed with cancer, and was dead three months later from complications, the news hitting the sensitive little boy hard.

"Charlie went a long time ago, even before Grandpa Jake. Grandma Ella was there before him though, so she probably took care of him. Then, Grandpa Jake went to Heaven, and I know they would be together. Grandpa's probably teaching Charlie how to throw a baseball, Grandma Ella is baking cookies and telling them not to throw the ball in the house. And all of them are with Kyla, playing with her and taking good care of her, because in Heaven, people that aren't related to each other are sometimes put together because of the way things go on Earth."

"Like how?" CJ asked, blue eyes thoughtful.

"Like, Grandpa Jake didn't know about Charlie when Charlie first went to Heaven. Then, when Grandpa Jake went up there, he saw Charlie and started telling him about his daughter, Sam. Your Mommy. And Charlie tells him about me, and Grandpa Jake is surprised, because in Heaven, everyone can watch over their family from wherever they are. So Grandpa Jake knows that Sam is married to me, and that Charlie was once my son. So now, he has two people to take care of in Heaven. Three, if you count Kyla." Jack smiled. CJ pondered the news carefully, small nose crinkling slightly to look like Sam's.

"What was the mistake you made?" he finally asked.

"I didn't listen to my first wife, and I brought my gun home. I sometimes did that, I'd bring it home and leave it on the desk in my room. I didn't mean to bring it home, I just forgot to leave it at the base or wherever I came from. Charlie picked it up and accidentally shot himself with it. That's why I never bring my guns home now, and why I tell Mommy not to bring hers. There will be times when you get older that I'll teach you how to use one, but you're not there yet. When you're older, and when Mommy and I both agree you're ready to use them. Until then, you can only play with your squirt guns." Jack explained. CJ nodded to show he understood, then Jack stood, picking up the little boy as he did.

"Are you and Mommy going to divorce?" CJ asked then, voice low and almost frightened.

"Absolutely not. I love your Mommy, and she loves me. I stopped making the big dumb mistakes that I made with my first wife, and now just make the little ones that Mommy gets annoyed with. Like leaving my shoes in front of the bedroom door when I get home at night, so she trips on them in the morning. Or leaving the toilet seat up after I use the bathroom. Or, the absolute worst one of all…I watch Simpsons in bed sometimes. That drives Mommy nuts. But she loves me in spite of it. Just like I love you still when you forget to feed Booger and Spooky, or the seventeen million hamsters that you just had to have, that you now can't stand and have tried to pawn off on your older, yet wiser sister." gently putting CJ back in his bed, Jack brought the blanket up to the boy's shoulders and gently patted his stomach. "Goodnight Daddy." CJ murmured sleepily, cuddling up to his stuffed dinosaurs and closing his eyes. "Goodnight Buddy." Jack whispered, then headed for his own room. Sliding into bed behind Sam, he gently pulled her to lie in his arms, her head tucked under his chin for comfort.

"Amazing how you can recite your many faults to our son, yet you can't remember to fix them during the day." She teased when he was comfortable. Laughing at her dry humor, Jack kissed her hair.

"I only forget so that you will never stop talking to me. Specially when you're mad. You're really hot when you're mad." He teased back.

"Hotter than Mary Steenburgen?" Sam asked with a grin. When there was no answer, she turned to look up at him. "Hotter than Mary Steenburgen?" She repeated.

"Don't do this to a man, give him the option of two women and expect him to choose." he grumbled finally. Sam's jaw dropped in pretend rage.

"Because, as you know, almost every guy in the world has looked at her, thought about her, but I'm the only one that has ever been with you." he went on, thereby redeeming himself in her eyes.

"I coulda' had Felger." She said after a moment.

"He'd have been dead within hours. Some kinda' accident, you know. Something blows up in the lab, he gets fired, hit by a car, mountain blows up on top of him…pick an accident." Jack grinned. "Not to mention, you wouldn't have two amazingly wonderful and deviously sneaky kids that you absolutely adore because they're just like their dad." he went on.

"Even if CJ is going to be a scientist someday. Did I tell you that he worships the ground Daniel walks on? Don't know why." Sam smiled into the darkness.

"Enough, we have the whole weekend to talk, let's not waste tonight."

"Is that an order, Sir?" Sam giggled.

"Carter? What's the rule about giggling?"

She giggled again.

The End.


End file.
